MMD September 12, 2014 0

For some reason, when a man is a big deal in high school, his life seems to take one of two very distinct paths. The first path is a continuation of his high school glory and success. He’s the big man on campus in college, gets laid a lot, ends up working in finance, and marries a former NFL cheerleader. The second path finds him as the assistant manager of the pet food department at Wal-Mart. It’s a strange phenomenon but it happens every single day. It’s usually related to a lack of good grades or a complete inability to stop acting the way he does. What’s cool at 16 doesn’t pass for cool at 25 or 30 and that is why you should never, ever be “peaked in high school guy”. I mean think about it, it’s really, really sad if the best years of your life were from 14 through 17. You shouldn’t peak in college either but at least you get a degree out of that which might prevent you from being a cashier at 37 years old. To peak in high school means your life is all downhill from there. That’s a long time to be a pathetic has been. Like I stated earlier, you’ll usually find him working a terrible job in his small hometown. He’ll be married to a girl who was hot in high school but started rapidly declining the day after graduation. By the time she’s 27 she will have reached Jerry Springer guest status. The guys he refused to speak to in high school due to their lack of “cool” status are now his best friends because they never left town either. He keeps them around as lackeys and he also needs them because talking about his high school glory days aren’t as fun if he was the only one who was there. Most stories begin and end with, “Remember back in high school”. This guy loves talking about high school while his buddies cheer him on. He talks about the chicks he banged, the pranks he pulled, and there’s usually one main event he really focuses on a la Al Bundy scoring four touchdowns in a single game for Polk High. This guy’s lack of interest in the present makes his life extremely shitty, I mean if you don’t tend to a plant; it’s going to die right? He still goes to high school football games and acts as if he’s a part of the team despite being 39 years old. While at the games he’ll often be heard saying things like, “Man, if I was still playing we’d be state champs”. At the end of the day, “peaked in high school guy” has very few pleasures in his life other than talking about high school and drinking a case of Schlitz every night. The only thing that can breathe life back into him is if he has a son whom he will relentlessly ride and torment in order to live vicariously through him. The son will go to MIT and become a world renowned scientist while his father maintains his position in the pet food department at the Wal-Mart. Sad. Don’t be that guy.

Article By: Jon DaBove

Leave A Response »

400-101"> CCIE Routing and Switching Psalm 100-101 NKJV - A Song of Praise for the LORD's 70-410 C2020-703 70-412 Microsoft Real Exam Questions - 100% Free VCE Files 117-202 117-202 070-412 70-417 Microsoft 70-411 Practice Test : Pacifichem 2015 070-480 200-120 CCENT/CCNA ICND1 100-105 Official Cert Guide: 70-487 350-018 350-018 300-207 117-201 Download C9530-404 Exam PDF Questions Answers 4a0-100 70-243 352-001 352-001 117-202 CCNA Routing and Switching ICND2 200-101 Official Cert 4a0-100 600-199 070-410 Pass CISCO 300-115 exam - test questions 70-410 70-331 352-001 070-346 1Z0-060 70-417 C2090-930 4a0-107 JN0-643 210-060 SFC Engineering LLC | Microsoft 070-463 dumps Exam & 1z0-051 dumps Dumps 642-887 dumps 600-199 exam e20-690 dump 070-688 exam RCDD-001 400-351 vce h12-211 pdf Exam Test C2090-930 exam Questions VCE on Vimeo 102-400 exam 70-696 pdf 070-685 vce sk0-004 study guide 101-400 exam 1z0-061 dumps adm 211 practice exam 300-360 dumps 642-996 pdf 100% Pass Guarantee of Your 200-125 dumps 352-001 pdf 200-101 vce 200-310 pdf 100-105 dumps 210-260 pdf 642-732 pdf jn0-643 dumps 642-737 dumps 210-060 pdf 70-243 exam SAP c_hanaimp151 dumps Dumps 300-101 practice test 300-320 exam 300-070 vce 300-075 study guide ex200 study guide 300-115 dumps Cisco 400-101 pdf exam - Reliable IT Certifications Expert on Cisco sy0-401 pdf 101-400 1Z0-061 ADM-211 300-360 642-996 RCDD-001 400-351 H12-211 C2090-930 102-400 Best Lpi 101-400 certification practice 1Z0-061 ADM-211 300-360 642-996 200-120 Best Cisco 100-101 Questions And Answers 070-411 70-410 C2020-703 SK0-004 101-400 1Z0-061 ADM-211 Download 300-360 Exam PDF Questions Answers 350-018 070-410 70-410 100-101 642-747 642-996 300-360 CAS-002 Best Oracle 1Z0-061 IT Test 101-400 H12-211 400-351 RCDD-001 070-688 642-887 JN0-692 Cisco 642-035 exam questions with accurate answers 70-486 220-802 642-742 JN0-343 70-470 642-998 Download Cisco 810-403 Dumps 70-533 70-496 1Z0-047 98-366 500-260 100% Pass 642-732 Exam: Cisco 200-125 2V0-620 300-070 E05-001 JN0-360 300-070 Download VMware 2V0-620 Exams - Free VCE Exams For All 70-346 1Z0-060 1Z0-434 100-101 EX300 N10-006 640-916 HP0-S41 : Building HP Server Solutions Certification Training 70-461 070-346 300-206 HP0-S42 CCNP Routing and Switching ROUTE 300-101 Official Cert Guide 210-451 1Z0-803 EX200 70-532 70-534 210-060 210-065 300-075 300-115 CCDA 200-310 Official Cert Guide, 5th Edition - Cisco Press 300-320 200-125 SY0-401 210-260 352-001 70-411 70-243 70-413 70-331 Easy and Guaranteed 642-747 Exam Success 117-201 200-120 070-411 700-505 700-501 648-232 640-911 The Latest Microsoft 070-462 Exam Study Guide and Exam 100-105 117-201 C9530-404 070-480 70-487 300-115 PMP Best Cisco 300-075 Dumps - Palm United Methodist Church 210-065 210-060