MMD July 22, 2014 0

There’s a certain way one should behave when they’re at the gym. Just because you’re pumped up and the testosterone is flowing doesn’t give you the right to act like a total ass. But this is a phenomenon that dates back further than actual gyms and there will always be a few guys at the gym who spend more time in the sauna than they do lifting weights, sweat into the water fountain, and let out screams that would lead you to believe they are giving birth. The gym douche is frowned upon in every culture so we here at MMD are going to teach you guys some gym etiquette. These 8 examples of what not to do and who not to be should keep you in good standing with the staff and your fellow gym goers.

1. Keep the screaming to a minimum. We all know you’re blasting your delts but take it easy bro. You sound like you’re passing 9 kidney stones at once. And we all know the truth. You’re doing it to get attention. Lifting heavy weights is really hard but you know you can do it with just the occasional grunt as opposed to screaming like a guy who just dropped the soap in the prison showers. And the worst part is we can all see you without the screaming. You’re the gym equivalent of a woman faking an orgasm, all that noise just so people think you’re doing something great.

2. We’ve all seen the guy who is constantly in the mirror at the gym and man do we all hate him. This particular jerk has to do everything in front of the mirror no matter what. What happens if the particular exercise he’s doing isn’t near a mirror? He will bring the dumbbells from one side of the gym to the other just to be able to watch himself do shrugs. It’s sad and I didn’t even mention the fact that he spends a good part of his time at the gym just flexing in the mirror like he’s competing in Mr. Universe.

3. Another guy at the gym we could all do without is the disgusting bastard who has the worst hygienic practices in the world. Some people go overboard when wiping down machines. If there is Windex involved you’re doing too much and also there’s not a lot of need to wipe down a treadmill but if you just sweated all over a bench take the towel and wipe it up you filthy bitch. This guy can also be found letting huge amounts of sweat drip into the water fountain while drinking with his mouth actually touching it. Just disgusting.

4. The always at the gym guy is a mainstay at every gym in America. He is seems to be at the gym 24 hours a day yet, here’s the kicker, he never really works out. He occasionally does a few reps and you might have actually seen him do one single curl but for the most part he just walks around chatting with the staff and other guys at the gym who are like his second family since he practically lives there. Who isn’t tempted to just go up to this guy and ask him what his story is to find out why the hell he lives at the gym?

5. The gym is the one place where I don’t support constantly hitting on chicks. Despite what Cosmo says the gym environment isn’t really conducive to meeting people. Everybody is all sweaty, out of breath, and has headphones on yet there’s always one guy who does nothing but hit on every girl in sight. What about a girl on a treadmill staring at a television and listening to an iPod makes you think she wants to be hit on pal? You must be one of the stupidest guys on the planet.

6. I give credit to the newbie because he’s trying something new and trying to get in shape but what the hell is wrong with this guy? It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out how to work a machine, there’s even little cartoon guys on it that show you how to use it yet he’s sitting on it backwards. He knows something is wrong so he sheepishly gets up and walks over to the next machine to repeat this stupid ass process. Look online or buy a copy of Men’s Health before you join the gym if you don’t think you can handle it but mainly just use your common sense bro. Ridiculous.

7. The gym is a place where one can be seen wearing sweats or a pair of shorts, right? I mean you’re going to be moving around a lot, lifting weights, it only makes sense. But every time I go to the gym, I inevitably see one lone idiot wearing something completely inappropriate such as jeans and boots, khakis, and even slacks with shoes. What the hell is this guy doing? He’s on this list because there is absolutely no reason for this and for some reason it just really annoys me.

8. Similar to the guy in number 4 this guy really, really annoys me as well. He has on every piece of athletic clothing and technology you could imagine. He has on bright Under Armour pants with a matching shirt, the highest quality running Nike sneakers you’ve ever seen  that look like they’ve never been worn, a headband, wristbands, an iPod strapped to his arm, a pedometer, something on his wrist that measures his heart rate and some form of goggles or other protective eyewear. It should also be noted that this guy looks like he’s never lifted a weight in his life. God, I hate him.

Article By: Jon DaBove

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