THE VERY FEW THINGS THAT WERE WRONG WITH ROCKY

MMD July 22, 2014 0
THE VERY FEW THINGS THAT WERE WRONG WITH ROCKY

Those who know me know that I love all things Rocky from the first movie to the sixth. I’m fairly sure that I can recite any of the films from memory. It’s pretty much an obsession but I’m Italian, I really had no choice in the matter. As much as I love them, however, there are some major issues in the Rocky franchise that left me scratching my head. I’m going to share them and you guys let me know if you noticed them too or I just have way too much free time on my hands. I’m going to break it down movie by movie, here we go.

Rocky: This is the movie that started it all. It made Sly Stallone a star and even won the Oscar for best picture. This movie gave the little guys everywhere hope.  My only problem with this near perfect movie was that there was no back story whatsoever on Rocky. I know it would have been dumb to start the movie with Rocky being any younger but they could have given us little clues as to what Rocky’s past was like, mainly his family life.

Rocky II: We see Rocky trying to adjust back to civilian life after his brush with fame. The one thing I never understood here is why Rocky took the job at the meat house. He turned down like 50 manual labor jobs because he wanted to sit behind a desk but then immediately took Paulie’s job, just odd. Also, Paulie being thin kind of freaked me out.

Rocky III: I was immediately at ease in the beginning of Rocky III because Paulie was fat again but what got me here was Rocky’s appearance. God only knows what Sly did in between movies but man he was like a different person. In Rocky II he was a rough and tumble bruiser. He had a little muscle on him but not much definition. In Rocky III he was an utter animal. The man had abs on top of abs. Even freakier, his face looked completely different. It was chiseled and his hair was fancy. What the hell?

Rocky IV: A favorite amongst Rocky fans, what really got me here was the fact that Ivan Drago was able to brutally kill Apollo within two rounds but Rocky was able to go 15 rounds with Drago and not even have much facial damage going on. I just couldn’t buy that. By those standards, Rocky could have kicked Apollo’s ass easily, which we know was not the case.

Rocky V: In what was supposed to be the last Rocky film in the anthology, Rocky is on top of the world yet punchier than ever. But he goes broke due to his financial advisors being crooks so the whole family had to move back to the old neighborhood in Philly. Rocky is also told he has irreparable brain damage and is told he should no longer fight. Rocky runs Mickey’s old gym and meets Tommy “The Machine” Gunn who slowly, thanks to Rocky, becomes a contender. Tommy turns out to be a greedy and selfish little prick who ends up challenging Rocky to a fight after all he did for him. Here’s the real kicker. Rocky has been avoiding fighting the whole movie because of his brain damage. He loses out on multi-million dollar paydays yet ends up fighting a bare knuckle brawl with Tommy in the street. Really guys?

Rocky Balboa: Okay, I want you to remember how Rocky had to stop fighting due to his brain damage in Rocky V. In Rocky Balboa, which takes place 20 years later, Rocky, now a restaurant owner, decides he has some unfinished business in the ring.  He is offered an exhibition bout with current heavyweight champ, Mason “The Line” Dixon. When Rocky goes to get his physical, he passes with flying colors and is given a boxing license. Apparently 20 years of age reverses brain damage completely. C’mon fellas, step up the story line.

Article By: Jon DaBove

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