What Not To Wear: Stupid Graphic Tees

MMD March 29, 2014 0
What Not To Wear: Stupid Graphic Tees

Graphic tees can be cool. The key to a good graphic tee is that there not be too much going on. For example, and I won’t mention any names, your tee should not be a fucking collage of snakes, skulls, and random tribal artwork that you would find on the arm of the biggest douchebag at the University of Miami. This type of tee screams “I’m a tool” and there is no age where one should ever purchase a shirt like this. Remember guys, being an ass knows no number. Also, stay away from any tees that have an obnoxious saying emblazoned across the chest. Realizing what is obnoxious isn’t rocket science but allow me to elaborate. If you’re wearing a shirt that says something referring to “Hump Day” and has a picture of a camel or people having sex on it then something has gone incredibly wrong. If you look in the mirror in the middle of the day and notice you are wearing a tee with a picture of a rooster on it with a stupid comment about cock, for your sake, I hope you have an inoperable brain tumor because any normally functioning human being would never wear this on purpose. Some people, and for the life of me, I will never understand this wear graphic tees with stupid sayings on them as a form of self-deprecating humor. If you’re using your t-shirt as a direct extension of your personality or to explain a shortcoming then you not only need a new wardrobe but a therapist. You fall into this category if you’re short and you are wearing a shirt that says, “What I lack in feet, I make up for in inches.” Seriously guys, any shirt with a sexual saying on it is like chick repellant. You might as well wear a sign that says, “I’m unemployed, live with my parents, and I am about to celebrate my 38th birthday.” Also, any tee with sayings about how much you don’t care, how great you are in bed, how stupid everybody is, or any catch phrase from Good Will Hunting should be doused in kerosene and burned. And with God as my witness, if you tarnish “that’s what she said” but putting it on a tee shirt I will bludgeon you with a club dammit, troglodyte style. I’m getting depressed just thinking about this so let’s move on to the proper way to wear a graphic tee. Keep it simple. Stay away from yellow, purple, red, orange and especially stay away from wearing them all on one shirt. You’re not the Fresh Prince of Bel-Air. Some graphic tees are classic. A Rolling Stones shirt is always in style. Some companies that make a great graphic tee are Hall of Fame, Diamond Supply Co., Crooks & Castles, and Sean John. You can wear them to the gym or rock them with a nice leather jacket and hit the town. That, my friends, is how you properly do a graphic tee. And as a reminder, not every tee has to be graphic. A solid black or white V-neck is always a good choice. Sometimes you just need to stick with a classic.

Article By: Jon DaBove

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