Why Is Roy Hibbert Sucking?

MMD May 8, 2014 0
Why Is Roy Hibbert Sucking?

Really internet?  A rumor is now swirling the interwebs alleging that Roy Hibbert’s poor performance is due to him being butt-hurt about his teammate Paul George sleeping with his wife.  C’mon.

Since both basketball games were over by the first TV timeout last night, and there are approximately 7,674 games left in the baseball season, there is nothing better to write about in the sports world today other than the Montreal Canadiens being up 2-1 on the much superior Boston Bruins.  So there I wrote about that.  Now let’s examine just how dumb this Hibbert/George conspiracy theory really is:

Question #1: Where did this story come from?
Somebody wrote an email to balleralert.com saying it happened, and being the beacon of journalistic integrity that they are they printed it.

Question #2: How COULD this happen?
Well, Paul George would have to really really hate Roy Hibbert.  The other day, in an effort to diffuse the rumor he posted a pic on his instagram of the two on a fishing trip captioned with #Brothers.  I doubt he meant blood brothers.  If he did screw Roy’s wife – then wow that pic is a seriously messed up thing to do, something you would only do to someone you truly hate – and by all accounts these guys are good friends.  So, if you believe this to be true what you are saying is that Paul George, whom the media has already dragged through the muck over a paternity test, allegedly paying off some chick to have an abortion, and a catfish scandal – just can’t stop embarrassing himself in the national media and hates his teammate so much, he decides to screw his wife knowing that this will probably be his fourth media scandal in short order and then throw it in his friends face on instagram.  He doesn’t care about money, so killing any chance of getting endorsements by being dragged through sex scandals is OK, and he dosen’t care about winning so doing something to mess up team chemistry is cool too.  You’re basically saying he’s not in the NBA for the money OR the championships.  And you think he’s a sex-addict who can’t stop himself from having scandalous sex, and he doesn’t value friendship or respect and would do a friend of his dirty like that.  That’s a lot of personal information you seem to know about someone you’ve never met.  I think maybe you need to get laid more.

Question #3: Why is everyone so surprised at Roy Hibbert’s poor performance?
I understand that over the last two seasons Hibbert has improved immeasurably, going from being a typical stiff center lacking agility and footwork to an excellent defender that began to develop some moves around the rim.  What I don’t get is why people seem to liken this to a scenario similar to if Shaq were to not dunk for an entire season, or if Olajuwon forgot how to use the dream fade, or if Dr. J started settling for perimeter jumpers, or if Wilt stopped hitting hook-shots from 20 feet.  We’re talking about Roy Hibbert here people, not exactly a powerless Samson.  Hibbert has never once in his career shot 50%, and considering almost all of his attempts come within five feet that’s pretty bad. For the sake of comparison: that lethal jump-shooter from NY – Tyson Chandler, is at 58.4% for his career.  Hibbert’s best scoring season was 2012 in which he averaged a whopping 12.8 points per game.  The dude is 7’2″ and averages 6.7 rebounds per game for his career.  That makes him a slightly worse rebounder than Reggie Evans.  Only once in his six year career has he averaged 2.5 blocks.  You don’t have to fuck this guys wife for him to play mediocre basketball.

Question #4: Why are you still reading this?
Get back to work.

Article By: Anthony Schiano

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