Facebook has more rules than a prison in a third world country. When Zuckerberg and his flunkies were making them up they should have banned women. Now that is a useful rule. Giving a woman a public forum where she can say whatever she wants, whenever she wants, in any state (yes, I mean drunk or really mad and/or depressed) is a recipe for disaster. If Facebook was guys only all it would be is a bunch of posts about sports scores, where to get the best Philly cheesesteak, and links to porn. But no, the women are all up on Facebook and it shows with their overly emotional, never quite making sense, and ridiculously overused quotes. Seriously, it’s amazing that the millions of women on Facebook all type in the same quotes like they went to a, “What Chicks Should Post On Facebook Seminar”. Here are the “5 Quotes That Women Constantly Post On Facebook”.
Girl On Facebook Says: “I’m selfish, impatient and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control and at times hard to handle. But if you can’t handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don’t deserve me at my best.”
MMD Says: Wow, if we hadn’t already seen this quote used 7 million times we might set our computer on fire out of pure shock that somebody could be this dumb. How is this even applicable to you? Okay, Marilyn Monroe, possibly the most iconic sex symbol of the last 100 years said it but how does this apply to you? You’re a dental assistant from North Jersey and okay, you’re cute and all but why the hell would any man put up with all this nonsense just to have you at your best when your best is probably not that great. Here’s a hint ladies, the girls we consider to be at their best aren’t selfish and out of control. They’re nice and can hold a conversation.
Girl On Facebook Says: If you love something let it go, if it comes back it’s yours forever.
MMD Says: Again, what the hell does this mean? It’s very ambiguously worded. I’m assuming it’s supposed to represent not holding somebody back because you love them that much but what if you’re in a relationship and everything is going well? Should you put your chick on a Greyhound and see if she comes knocking the next morning? And if somebody left you why would you even want them back, and for forever no less? There’s a middle ground here like, “Hey babe, I got into law school in Minnesota” says random chick, “cool, I’ll come with you and not sit around and pray you come back some day”, says logical man.
Girl On Facebook Says: I am not A bitch. I am THE Bitch.
MMD Says: This is some sort of misguided attempt at a female empowering herself. “Yeah a bitch is female dog and a terribly offensive insult but that’s cool because I’m a woman so I’m a bitch. I can do what I want and a man will want me anyway. I’m bitter and 39 and single and so….. (Trails off, begins to cry, and runs out of the room.) There’s nothing cool about being a bitch. By embracing this you’ve obviously been hurt on several occasions and using a tough girl exterior as a defense mechanism. Here’s a clue sugar plum, find a guy who’s not a douchebag and stop being a BITCH to the ones who treat you well. Seriously, it’s not rocket science.
Girl on Facebook Says: Say what you mean because those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind.
MMD Says: See how they switched the words mind and matter around. That’s called an antimetabole. You didn’t know that did you? Also, let’s be honest, you have no idea who Bernard M. Baruch is but you just thought it was cute, didn’t you? You just read this quote and imagined you saying whatever asinine comment came into your head as you and your girlfriends watched “Sex And The City” and them not judging you for saying it or thinking you were dumb for saying it, didn’t you? Or I suppose you could have said something really stupid and somebody around you was smart enough to judge you. Either way, could you have spared us this shit quote and just said “I have a great group of friends whom I love dearly.” It’s short, sweet, genuine, and best of all it spares us from having to read this for the 409th day in a row. Seriously, I would die of shock if I could go one day without seeing this.
Girl on Facebook Says: Treat her like a queen and she’ll treat you like a king. Treat her like a game and she’ll show you how it’s played.
MMD Says: Ohhh yeah, you go girl! Here’s another attempt at being a man hating tough girl. Why does she assume that because she’s the woman that she knows how to play the game better? Better yet, why go into every relationship thinking that every person has the worst possible intentions for you? Relax a little, stop thinking about the guy who took your virginity and never called you again and just be nice. It’ll go a long way, I promise. So long in fact that you will stop feeling the need to post quotes like this on your Facebook page.
Article By: Jon DaBove
