Ask Michelle: Advice on Life and Love From a Hot Bartender

MMD October 22, 2014 1
Ask Michelle: Advice on Life and Love From a Hot Bartender

That’s right fellas, it’s another edition of Ask Michelle: Advice on Life and Love From a Hot Bartender. This week, Michelle deals with problems that a lot of you wish you had. Like usual, if you have any questions for Michelle you can send them to


Okay so here’s my issue. I’m very, very, very, well endowed, like absolutely huge, well over 10 inches. I’m not bragging. As a matter of fact it sucks. I can’t have sex with my girlfriend without hurting her no matter what we try. I can’t even get halfway in and it’s getting frustrating. Any suggestions?

Yes I’d agree with you Mark, no normal woman likes a huge…..banana. It’s kind of a deal breaker for me and 80% of women who aren’t being paid to play. I do somehow doubt only half of it fits, let’s not get carried away. But do please be a good guy and ask yourself if you see a future with this woman. The “you break it, you buy it” policy applies to large penises.

Mark 28, Easton, PA


My girl is straight up boring, like to the point where I don’t even want to touch her. She thinks me hitting it from the back is freaky. I’m into all types of stuff and if she doesn’t get with the program then it’s her loss. What can I do to get her to loosen up and try different things?

Well if you are at the point where you don’t want to touch her I can’t see things getting much better for you guys. If you follow my column you will often see the repeat advice and the only thing at 31 I know to be true is that every woman is a freak for the right guy. Different people bring out different sides in each other. In this case it has nothing to do with love and everything to do with lust. Step back and realize she too isn’t quite that into you and perhaps it’s not just as of lately.

Randy 25, Jackson, MS


My girlfriend has one or two small tattoos. I hate them but I can deal with them. Now, she’s talking about getting more and bigger ones. I find tattoos repulsive. How can you take a woman covered in tattoos to an upscale event? Tattoos are simply a classless way for women to get attention. How can I stop her?

Well Bernard, being a heavily tattooed woman I am definitely not going to have any good advice for you. Not everything is for everyone but to say that tattoos are classless and used to get attention is as absurd as you trying to tell someone what to do with their own body. If something like a tattoo could make you less attracted to or embarrassed of your girlfriend perhaps she shouldn’t be your girlfriend.

Bernard 30, Bridgeport, CT


I’ve always done well financially but the last few years have been just incredible, everything I’ve been working towards my whole life. I have all the money, cars, and clothes that I want. I love my life but the problem is that now it’s hard to tell which chicks are into me and which are into my money. I don’t think there’s a way to tell. What do you think?

Jake I almost thought this was lyrics from a rap song. Don’t be so dramatic or so naïve. A man can definitely sense what type of a woman he is dealing with, besides no one would know what you have unless you make it known. Be more discreet because to a normal woman a man who brags and flaunts that he has money is borderline repulsive. If her eyes roll more than twice during your money, cars, and stars speech, she’s a keeper.

Jake 32, Buffalo, NY

One Comment »

  1. felix nduka October 23, 2014 at 3:59 pm - Reply

    Thanks michelle, for those answers.

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