The Man-Cave no longer seems to be front page news. It entered and excited the lexicon as quickly as a 29-year-old girl brought into one after a night at the club. But, rest assured, do not write the man-cave’s eulogy just yet. News of its death (yes, I am going there) are highly exaggerated.
The term was, arguably, introduced to the zeitgeist via the Jason Segel/Paul Rudd comedy, “I Love You, Man,” though there are those who say these two chuckleheads showed up long after the party started. In fact, ManCaveSite.org totally predates that mediocre buddy comedy (Lou Ferrigno cameo notwithstanding), and also culminated in a book, “The Man Cave Book,” where some of the most outrageous, awesome garage-cum-bachelor pads are featured. I’m serious.
“We were posting photos long before that, but if they get the credit, then so be it,” Mike Yost once told me, the creator of Mancavesite.org himself.
One guy’s garage (on page 34 of the book, to be exact) is turned into something no son in his right mind would ever in his right mind move from, and yes – I said son.
Are there “Girl Caves?” Sure. They’re just not called that, and Pinterest is loaded with them. Beautified sheds adorned with flowers and etchings; but there’s no cable TV hooked up. No air hockey table. It’s a different animal altogether.
Some Man-Caves in “The Man cave Book” are truly a spectacle: part arcade/part OTB. There are pool tables, bars, wood-burning stoves, life-sized action figures of everyone from Luke Skywalker to Tom Brady, autographed jerseys and record albums and so much more, encased in glass and hung with care.
But, the Man Cave is so much more than a statement and/or decorating walkabout – it’s a way of life, man. It is so much more than an escape – it’s a livable, lovable labor of love.
Before we dissect why it is that Le Cave is no longer front page news, let’s first pop a balloon in the theory that wives/girlfriends/moms (scratch that last one – your mom HATES your man cave) are anti-Cave.
About.com tackled the subject of the Man-Cave a while back in its Newlywed section, detailing the very reasons why one can be so important:
1. Everyone needs personal space.
2. The man cave saves you money.
On this one they elaborated interestingly, if not archaically: “Humans will find a way to get the me time they crave. If your husband does not have a place in his home to be alone or chill with his friends, he will probably go out to restaurants or sports bars (or dare I say it, strip clubs) to be with his buddies. These places cost mucho dinero.” This is not necessarily truly, and utterly dependent upon the relationship in question.
3. You can keep an eye on him.
4. You show him he’s part of an equal partnership.
Sure, #4 reeks of Jedi Mind Trick, and if #3 resonates than you got bigger problems than him turning the garage into an arcade. But the fact that a female writer went to such great lengths to point out the pros of the Cave demonstrates just how crucial one can be to a relationship/marriage’s well-being. Some may view the need of such a space as a slam, but just as many women see the need for their own space as well. Fact is, a “gentrified” garage is more up a guy’s alley than a gal’s and that should be just fine. At the end of the day that’s really what the Man-Cave is: each person in the relationship taking ownership of a stereotype. We expend so much energy these days eschewing stereotype in favor of political correctness that many times a relationship can deteriorate in the process. If you’re a guy who likes to cook – great! If you’re a gal who has a tool box and must be the one to hang the pictures – fine! However, personal space being relegated to a the hubby/boyfriend that was initially a dilapidated shed or lopsided garage as opposed to a gutted living room for the lady of the house is ultimately little more than chivalry.
How many times must we espouse that chivalry is not in fact dead before we all, collectively, accept that it isn’t? This, ladies and gentlemen, is exactly what the Man-Cave does. It’s its singular purpose…for some. Truth.
So where has it been? Why isn’t it “trending?” Well, that’s simple. While the word fad may apply, the Man-Cave also doubled as a revelation. Why didn’t I/we think of this before? Call it the Fad Pad if you must – and we may someday soon – tossing a hash-tag before the term du jour. The bloom is simply off the revelatory rose, but they are still being planted.
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Article By: Vinnie Penn
