On July 12 at the Hammerstein Ballroom in NYC, Eminem will present “Total Slaughter” on PPV. This will be Em’s attempt at essentially starting a battle rap league. Already announced for the show will be a rematch of the famous Murda Mook vs. Loaded Lux battle from 2003, as well as Jersey’s own Joe Budden taking on Hollow Da Don, who claims to be “the best battle rapper ever.” Slaughterhouse members Joell Ortiz, Royce da 5’9″, Crooked I, and Joe Budden will be the judges. This got me thinking: what were the best battles ever?
Kool Moe Dee vs. Busy Bee
Probably the first rap battle, from back in the day when every emcee was trying to be like Sugar Hill Gang. It was 1981 and Kool Moe showed us all how it’s done. This was a slaughter. WINNER: Kool Moe created the battle rap as we know it.
Kool Moe Dee vs. LL Cool J
This is possibly the best battle of all time. Kool Moe claimed LL stole his flow which led to “How Ya Like Me Now” and LL’s response “To Da Break of Dawn.” Just these two tracks would have been enough for a classic battle but then came round two in the form of “Let’s Go” and “Jack the Ripper.” It just doesn’t get any better. WINNER: LL by split decision.
LL Cool J vs. Canibus
At the time Canibus was new to the mainstream and LL was in his prime. There was a misunderstanding about what Canibus meant when he said “Yo L is that a mic on your arm? Lemme borrow that” in “4-3-2-1.” LL cut the line and proceeded to murder Canibus in the final verse. Then came “Second Round KO” and “The Ripper Strikes Back” which are both battle-rap classics. WINNER: I would say this is a tie, but since LL went at Mike Fucking Tyson during the time when he was the baddest dude on the planet and prone to eating people’s faces – I give the W to LL for the giant testicles it must have taken to go at Iron Mike.
Ice Cube vs. NWA
Why Easy would go at Cube who was clearly the best lyricist of the group is a mystery. All you need to do is listen to the Cube classic “No Vaseline” – ouch. WINNER: Cube by a mile.
Dr. Dre vs. Eazy-E
These two former NWA members had it out after a nasty breakup. The Doctor struck with the classic “Dre Day” but Easy hit back hard with references to Dre’s time spent as a member of World Class Wrecking Cru’. Do yourself a favor and Google Image World Class Wrecking Cru’ – Dre is so adorable! WINNER: Tie.
KRS-One vs. MC Shan
This is when we learned that hip-hop started in South Bronx, South South Bronx – not in Queensbridge as claimed by Shan and the Juice Crew. After all of Boogie Down Productions got down, Shan’s career was pretty much toast. WINNER: Number 1 2 3 4 and 5.
Lil Kim vs. Foxy Brown
This was really started by Puffy when he claimed all other female rappers were trying to sound like Kim. This is one of the longest lasting battles of them all, as a matter of fact they most likely still hate each other to this day. It even boiled over into a shootout outside Hot 97. WINNER: Foxy’s verse on “Bang Bang” gets her a hard fought win.
Jadakiss vs. Beanie Sigel
This is a battle most don’t usually mention when discussing the best. Beans let the world know just how hard he could spit for the first time and Jada came right back. If you listen to the lyrics they stand up to any beef on this list. More of a beef between crews, these two dropped some bombs on each other, but unlike a lot of beefs on this list Jada and Beans squashed it and have much respect for each other today. WINNER: I would say draw, but Jada dissing someone to a disco beat and still sounding hard as hell breaks the tie.
Eminem vs. Benzino
LOL
Jay-Z vs. Nas
If you asked a million hip-hop fans and rappers how these two started going at it you’d get a million different answers. Some say it dates all the way back to Nas declining an offer to appear on “Reasonable Doubt.” “Takeover” and “Ether” might be the best back-and-forth in battle rap history. “Takeover” would have been enough to defeat most emcees but “How much of Biggie’s rhymes gon’ come out your fat lips?” seals the deal. WINNER: Nas.
50 Cent vs. Ja Rule
Here’s another battle that’s tough to tell how it started. What we do know is how it ended. It ended Ja Rule’s career and his thug-and-b style. “Life’s on the Line” “I Smell Pussy” and “Wanksta” were all nasty, and Ja really had nothing notable to spit back. WINNER: 50 in a landslide.
BIG vs. 2Pac
This is without a doubt the most influential rap battle ever, mainly because this was no joke. It changed the course of hip-hop history (probably for the worse.) It’s also interesting that BIG really didn’t seem interested in going at Pac except for a few subliminal lines dropped in different tracks. Most likely Pac in his insane paranoia thought “Who Shot Ya” was directed at him, so he unleashed “Hit ‘Em Up” with the Outlawz. WINNER: I’m from Brooklyn so you know who I think was the better emcee, but “Hit ‘Em Up” is so nasty and there is no response from the Don. As much as it pains me to say it – Pac wins.
So, if you have any problems with who I think came out as winners or think I left a great battle of the list, and you wanna do something about it I’m accepting any challenges for a battle. If you think you can hang with my white-boy (yeah that’s right it’s hyphenated bitch) swag – just know I EAT EAT EAT AMATEUR EMCEES. One.
Article By: Anthony Schiano
