Former adult actress Shy Love has it all, beauty, brains, personality, and she definitely knows what she’s doing in bed. However, the former porn star and talent agency owner who is now more likely to go by her legal name, Sheelagh Blumberg, has shifted gears. Now married with children, Shy Love is a published author of two books titled How To Catch A Kitten and How To Land A Rich Man. The titles are pretty self-explanatory. Taking from her own experiences, Shy is helping men and women get the significant others they deserve. She also does private consulting in case you can’t manage to learn how to buy a nice shirt or stop being a total douchebag on your own. Men’s Mag Daily sat down with Shy to discuss her new books, what a woman needs to do sexually to keep a man interested, and why men have the upper hand when it comes to dating.
Mens Mag Daily: Shy, I read both How To Catch A Kitten and How to Land a Rich Man. What experiences have you had that allowed you to write these books?
Shy Love (Sheelagh Blumberg): As far as How To Land A Rich Man my husband wanted me to write it and I had a lot of girlfriends that were always asking me how I always met wealthy men and why they always wanted to marry me. They were all so confused and thought it was just pure luck or fate that made it happen. I told them that there were certain steps in my life that I had taken to make sure I was surrounded by nice, financially secure men. What I did was take all the things I did to make rich guys want me and I put it in the book and I actually ended up marrying one of them. As far as How To Catch A Kitten is because I have a lot of guy friends that are really nice and sweet, they have their lives together but they have a hard time meeting girlfriends. They don’t understand it and it might be because they don’t have that perfect pretty boy look. Girls end up going for the guys that are really good looking or the guy who treats them like an ass because they think they can change him for the better. I took all the tactics that every guy has ever used on me and my girlfriends and I wrote it in two formats. One is how to get laid and two is how to find a girl that you want a real relationship with and the manipulation tactics it takes to get a girl comfortable with the real you.
Mens Mag Daily: So are you saying that a woman should only go after a rich guy?
Shy Love (Sheelagh Blumberg): No not at all. You read the book so you know it’s not a gold digging book. It’s about bettering yourself as a woman. It’s about finding a man who is financially secure not for gold digging reasons but because I know so many girls who are finding guys who aren’t financially secure and they end up wither supporting them or fighting about money. I personally couldn’t see being with a guy who wasn’t financially secure because what if something happens to me? If I can’t bring any money in and he can’t bring any money in then what happens? I think both partners should be equal.
Mens Mag Daily: It’s funny because after I read your book last night I saw something on Facebook about this girl who put an ad on a dating site saying that middle class in New York City was a million dollars a year and that she’s looking for a guy who makes a minimum of half a million dollars a year. This guy, who is a big time VP at a major financial company replied to her and basically told her that he would have no reason to marry her because she’s going to depreciate and he’s going to get better and richer.
Shy Love (Sheelagh Blumberg): Right and there’s a section in my book that says that as long as a man is intelligent he’s going to appreciate in value. As a female, if our main asset is your looks, you need to realize that every day you are depreciating. That part of my book teaches a woman how to grow so she’s more than just a trophy to a guy but an actual partner. If a woman is smart and pretty and great in bed she’s going to grow in that relationship and be a real partner. He’s going to keep her around because he’s not bored. Men have access to a lot of beautiful women. It takes more than beauty to get them.
Mens Mag Daily: Ok, so break this down for me, what exactly makes a woman great in bed to you because in the eyes of a lot of men all a woman has to do is be there.
Shy Love (Sheelagh Blumberg): It’s really about chemistry. You need to touch a man so that he knows you’re so completely into him. A woman needs to look into a man’s eyes when she’s doing sexual things with him because it’s going to turn him on and make him feel more connected to her. I don’t like when women use the headache excuse or decline to have sex after they’ve been in a relationship for a long time because that’s why men cheat. Women need to remember that they need to maintain because then they wonder why men cheat and it’s because they’re bored. When a woman meets a guy at first she was probably blowing him. She was probably giving him sex all the time without the excuses. The key to being good in bed is chemistry, knowing how to touch a man, not being boring and trying new things, and realizing that you can’t slack off and that you have to do what you’re supposed to do.
Mens Mag Daily: In the book you mention guys that are just really, really good looking but I was thinking about this and women love Leonardo Dicaprio. Women love Vin Diesel. Women love Denzel Washington and these guys all look very different so what exactly is like a standard good looking guy?
Shy Love (Sheelagh Blumberg): I think it depends on the girls because they see some of the guys I date and they’re like, “why”? I’m attracted to more than looks. I’m attracted to how he makes me feel, how he treats me, and his personality. Me and my girlfriends will be going through pictures and we’ll see pictures of old boyfriends of mine and I’ll be like, “why didn’t you tell me? He was so ugly”? And they’ll say they did but I was so wrapped up in everything that to me he was attractive. I don’t think a girl can say good looking or not good looking. I think if that guy can connect with her she’ll find something good looking about him.
Mens Mag Daily: So you would date a guy that you couldn’t look in the eyes and tell him he was handsome?
Shy Love (Sheelagh Blumberg): I dated a guy who was fifteen years older than me and not very attractive at all and I was like head over heels. There’s a difference because men go for looks first but women go personality first I think. Women are willing to give something a try even though he may not be the guy they’re looking for because he just did or said something right.
Mens Mag Daily: Okay, but did you ever call him handsome though?
Shy Love (Sheelagh Blumberg): I told him he was adorable because his personality made him adorable but I don’t think I ever told him he was so sexy or anything like that.
Mens Mag Daily: See, I would be offended by that.
Shy Love (Sheelagh Blumberg): What? If you’re significant other didn’t think you were hands down beautiful?
Mens Mag Daily: Yeah.
Shy Love (Sheelagh Blumberg): Well beauty is in the eye of the beholder so it can come in a lot of different ways. I know some of the most gorgeous men and women and their personalities are just horrible so I find them unattractive. I guess I’m not your typical girl when it comes to attraction.
Mens Mag Daily: You talk a lot about picking up girls. When I was in my real early twenties my game was to go up to a girl, say something stupid, and make out with her but now I like to finesse the situation a little bit more.
Shy Love (Sheelagh Blumberg): I’m 35 years old now and when I was 25 the dating was completely different it’s two different markets. A 25 year old girl is never going to say she’s looking for a guy who is financially secure. She’s looking for her booty call. When you’re in a club situation or a bar and you have your friends with you can walk away from her and she’s going to wonder why and that entices her to approach you even more and want you even more. If you’re alone at a club or a bar then you’re going to stay talking to that one girl so she’s not going to be as interested. She might give you her number but won’t have the same level of interest.
Mens Mag Daily: You say in your book never to go straight for the “hot” girl.
Shy Love (Sheelagh Blumberg): Never, she’s the biggest tease of them all. They want attention but they’re always complaining to their girlfriends about how much they get hit on. A hot girl will take to you in order to get free drinks and compliments but the chances are at the end of the night you won’t even get her number. The two best girls to go after are the conservative and quite one or the blocker and then the hot girl is going to wonder why you aren’t approaching her and she’s going to approach you anyway. She’s going to wonder why you’re talking to the less attractive friends. Also, you can either close the deal with one of these two or just use one of them to get close to the hotter friend but becoming cool with them and getting them to like you.
Mens Mag Daily: Okay, all that makes a lot of sense. What about this situation? What if a guy approaches a girl in the club to introduce himself and the girl is completely rude and disrespectful?
Shy Love (Sheelagh Blumberg): Let’s say you’re standing at the bar and there’s a girl next to you and she thinks you’re trying to buy her a drink or hit on her then you can just tell her you were getting yourself a drink and get your drink and tell her to have a good night. She’s going to start to wonder why you weren’t hitting on her like why wasn’t she good enough. Believe me; if a girl is sitting at the bar she wants attention. If she didn’t she could be blending into the crowd with a bunch of girlfriends or sitting at a little VIP table. The best way to get somebody back who is rude to you is flattery. You not being disrespectful actually makes them think.
Mens Mag Daily: So for the record, screaming expletives and then throwing a bottle of Michelob Ultra across the room would not be an appropriate response?
Shy Love (Sheelagh Blumberg): (Laughs) No, not unless you want to get totally written off for the rest of the night because you created a scene.
Mens Mag Daily: Do you have any wardrobe recommendations for us guys?
Shy Love (Sheelagh Blumberg): Whether a guy is a bigger guy or a smaller guy bigger clothes are not a good idea. Girls do not want a guy who still dresses like he’s a kid on MTV. Your jeans should be fitted and not so baggy. Your shirt should be fitted as well. People think that would be really expensive but you can buy a reasonable shirt and then just bring it to a tailor which is not expensive. Any shirt will look nicer if it’s tailored because of the brand. Sneakers should only be worn if the occasion calls for it so get a nice pair of shoes because women pay attention to shoes and watches. We like clean nails and stuff like that.
Mens Mag Daily: You also said in your book that a woman can tell a designer brand from a mile away.
Shy Love (Sheelagh Blumberg): I can. (Laughs) We spend our time going through these magazines and seeing ads so we become very accustomed to the labels and the brands. We’re very familiar with them. Some girls, especially in big cities, will really pay attention to labels on a guy?
Mens Mag Daily: So that means we should all wear Gucci and YSL?
Shy Love (Sheelagh Blumberg): That means you can wear pieces. I might wear a really expensive purse or pair of shoe where they cost more than the whole rest of the outfit. If you have nice shoes and a watch the whole outfit doesn’t need to be expensive. You can wear Guess Jeans or Armani Xchange and they aren’t crazy expensive but they do show class. We notice them but they’re not a necessity.
Mens Mag Daily: That all makes sense. So what are some tips of how to actually talk to women?
Shy Love (Sheelagh Blumberg): You want to learn to play with her head without totally demolishing her. You have to take away her ego. Instead of telling her she looks hot, tell her hair looks good or that you like her dress. Never just come out and let her know you think she’s beautiful. This is for a girl you don’t really want to date so you play mind games with her. If you do want to date a girl then you give her a little bit of attention, just a little bit, tell her it was a pleasure to meet her and then walk away. She’s going to be wondering why you left a good conversation. Then you go up to her later on and invite her to the next place that you and your friends are going to. If a girl is really interested she’ll go with you to the next venue. If she doesn’t come but give you her number then you need to decide how interested she is. If she’s not that interested then you need to call her the next day but if she is then you need to wait 48-72 hours. And never send a girl you just met a text message. If you do she’s going to show it to her girlfriends and make you wait, it’s just a game we play. The first time you call, you call from your number and let the number show but don’t leave a voicemail. If she’s really interested she’s going to call back. The second time you call her you can leave a voicemail but if she doesn’t answer it means she’s not interested or she splaying hard to get. The third time you call from a blocked number and she’ll pick up because she doesn’t know who it is. Ask her out but not for a dinner date because it’s a commitment and she might get intimidated. Ask her out for lunch or coffee. After that you can ask her out for dinner because she’ll be more likely to say yes.
Mens Mag Daily: Is it even worth it to date a girl who’s this much of a pain in the ass?
Shy Love (Sheelagh Blumberg): Every woman is a pain in the ass. We all say we’re looking for a specific thing but we never actually go after what we say we’re looking for. It’s not like the old days where you went up to a girl and you started dating. There’s social media and so many different ways that people are introducing themselves. It starts off as a game but then you start to know the person and it becomes more.
Mens Mag Daily: What happened to that way though? What happened to the guy asking a girl out, they go on three dates and become a couple, and a year later they’re married?
Shy Love (Sheelagh Blumberg): I think it’s all the social media and the dating sites. Even when you walk into a club nowadays you might see people on their phones.
Mens Mag Daily: Which is lame I think.
But it happens. You’ll see people ignoring their surrounding and jut being on their phone in a bar or club.
Mens Mag Daily: True, lame, but true. Here’s another question. When you’re having a one night stand, what approach should a guy take? Should he keep it simple? Should he try new stuff?
Shy Love (Sheelagh Blumberg): I personally never had a one night stand but a lot of my girlfriends have and that’s in the book. When they have a one night stand they want a guy that is going to make them say, “Oh my God, did that just happen”? They like the aggression, the passion, they like that feeling. If you’re having a one night stand go all in. Don’t go crazy or anything but a little choking, hair pulling, ass slapping, that’s great. Any woman who says she doesn’t like her hair pulled or getting slightly choked is just afraid to say it.
Mens Mag Daily: True or false, it’s ways easier for guys to pick up women after the age of thirty.
Shy Love (Sheelagh Blumberg): Definitely true and it’s because typically women expire at the age of 30. If she’s sitting at home with no husband and no kids it becomes more of a concern so she has to start settling a little bit more. These women feel like they have to do something because they 30 and still single so it becomes much easier for guys. These girls aren’t looking for a great date; they’re looking for a future husband.
Mens Mag Daily: So at the end of the day every woman wants a husband?
Shy Love (Sheelagh Blumberg): Every woman wants a husband and if not a husband then somebody they can share the rest of their lives with.
Mens Mag Daily: Ok, so 30 is like panic mode but at what age is it when women start to get nervous?
Shy Love (Sheelagh Blumberg): I would say at 27 or 28 they really start to notice they’re not in a relationship and they want one. They start to worry about kids. She wants to have her family by the times she’s 35 because she wants to be a young mother.
Mens Mag Daily: So us guys have a little bit of the upper hand then?
Shy Love (Sheelagh Blumberg): You guys have a way upper hand when they’re 28 and up. And you can use that knowledge to play the game and once you get the girl little by little the game starts disappearing.
Mens Mag Daily: Men don’t really expire right?
Shy Love (Sheelagh Blumberg): Men don’t really expire with age because as long as they are financially secure they can always find another woman.
Mens Mag Daily: My theory has always been that if a guy is 35 and in shape he can have as many women as he wants.
Shy Love (Sheelagh Blumberg): I don’t know about as many women as he wants but he will have a very nice amount of women to choose from.
Mens Mag Daily: Okay Shy, so tell us what we should look out for. Tell us about your website and your book.
Shy Love (Sheelagh Blumberg): I have my website which is www.moneylovesuccess.com and it’s amazing because I sell the book there but I also sell a couple of seminars that I taped. I also do seminars around the country and private consults so you can pay me to privately consult you on how to date and how to put yourself together. How to Get A Kitten and How to Land A Rich Man are both best sellers on Amazon which is amazing. If a guy follows these tactics he will have girls chasing him and not the other way around and a woman will be able to get and hold the attention of a financially secure man.
Article By: Jon DaBove
