In their infinite wisdom, the muckety mucks in the massive urban metropolis that is the “Sooner State”, better or should I say barely known as Oklahoma have decided to ban towns and cities in the state from raising the minimum wage. Governor Mary Fallin, a staunch Republican, signed this new law into effect just a few days ago. Here’s a little oil to throw on the fire, this new law also says that localities in the big O cannot require that employees receive a certain amount of sick or vacation days, paid or unpaid. Wow, an employee can’t even be granted a little UTO (Unpaid Time Off)? That’s forward thinking if I’ve ever seen it and Lord knows this should drive stampedes of people en masse to this already busting hub of culture, distinction, and nightlife. I mean, c’mon, haven’t you heard the news? Forget Park Avenue, all the society types are just a clamorin’ to snatch up some good old Oklahoma real estate, before it’s all gone that is. Obviously, this new measure isn’t very popular with the good working class folk who I sincerely apologize to for my previous jabs at what I’m sure is a fine state. I just wanted to get my shots in at your status chasing Governor. Anyway, they were halfway through a 10,000 signature petition against this measure when it passed. Oddly enough, and somebody tell me if I’m taking stupid pills here for being utterly puzzled, this is what Governor Fallin had to say, “Mandating a minimum wage increase at the local level would drive businesses to other communities and states, and would raise prices for consumers.” Now, correct me if I’m wrong but aren’t the couple hundred thousand people who work in Oklahoma also be considered consumers, possibly even ideal consumers since they have an income? Let me say this so it makes more sense, what will happen is the people who are working will no longer be able to afford the goods and services they themselves provide and THEY will leave the state, making Oklahoma a barren prairie, tumbleweeds and all. Are these comments by Fallin making anybody else’s head hurt? If the businesses go, the consumers go and vice versa, one can’t survive without the other. With Oklahoma’s already dismal employment outlook you would think they would take better care when signing measures like this into effect. Fallin also said that the law “protects our economy from bad public policy that would destroy Oklahoma jobs.” Who the hell wrote that genius statement? This whole situation is ass backwards and is going to do nothing but harm an already hurting state. Fallin must have her eye on a place in the Senate or something and feels that any press is good press because this decision is one for the books. Let’s file this under stuff you should never do, EVER! Perplexing and nonsensical comments aside this is a wildly stupid decision. Also, to the 12 people in Oklahoma who make six figure salaries, stop complaining. In this economy, working a minimum wage job is not an indication of education level, work ethic, or anything else you might conjure up in your elitist “I have season tickets to Sooner games” brain. It’s just absurd.
Article By: Jon DaBove
