We at the MMD offices were having a brainstorming session one day and the topic shifted to cheating on one’s significant other. The debate actually got pretty heated. Some people took the, “We’re all human and mistakes” stance. Others took the, “Cheating is an offense punishable by castration no matter what” stance. The debate got really heated when we started discussing whether or not there is a difference between a man and a woman cheating. It was obvious that we needed to expand our pool of opinions so we hit the streets. MMD went to Times Square and stopped random people to ask them, is there a difference between a man cheating and a woman cheating? I think you’ll find the answers interesting.
The first person we presented with the question was Montell, a 29 year old barber from the East Side of Harlem and here’s what he had to say. “Hell yeah there’s a difference man and I’m not saying that in a way to defend men cheating. I’m saying that because it’s true. If a dude cheats, it could be for a million different reasons. Maybe he’s out of town and bored, maybe he wants to see if he still got it, maybe the chick he’s gonna bone is a Victoria’s Secret model and he doesn’t wanna miss the chance. None of those reasons have anything to do with his girl. He doesn’t think she’s not pretty anymore. He doesn’t love her any less. It’s about him. It’s definitely wrong but he can still love the shit outta his girl. If a woman cheats, there’s one of two reasons. Either she straight up doesn’t love you anymore or she’s a nymphomaniac type bitch who needs all type of dick. Either way, you better be out because both of those types are dangerous.”
Brian, a 30 year old stockbroker from midtown had similar views. “I mean, it’s a terrible double standard but is there anything worse than a cheating woman? It’s like the ultimate betrayal. Cheating is wrong on both ends but it’s more understandable for a man. We don’t get offered sex as much so when it happens it’s like, “okay this hasn’t happened in a while, what do I do?” We get caught up in the moment and stuff. Women have been offered sex every single day since the eighth grade and turned most of it down, they have a lot of experience at turning down sex, men don’t. That’s why I don’t think it’s as bad if we do it because it’s not emotional, it’s a physical thing.”
Erin, a 25 year old retail manager said, “I’m not trying to disgrace my gender here but it is worse if a woman cheats because she’s either not satisfied sexually or she’s over the relationship and you can’t come back from either of those. A guy cheating doesn’t mean he’s over the relationship. It means he got horny. It’s just not as big of a deal but mind you I’m talking about a guy who has cheated once or twice in his life. A serial, indiscriminate cheater is just awful.”
Trisha, a 27 year old Bronx native said, “No it’s equally terrible and hurtful regardless of what gender you are. You’re betraying somebody which is inexcusable. It’s awful on both sides and there’s never a reason to cheat. If you feel that’s a personality trait you might have them you should stay single.”
Marissa, a 29 year old executive who works in publishing said, “That’s a loaded question because I know what you’re looking for. Is there a difference between a man cheating and a woman cheating? You’re setting me up to say that a guy cheating is less serious in terms of how he feels about his girlfriend or wife. In that case, yes there is a difference. A man can likely love a woman and still go have a one night stand whereas for a woman, cheating is an emotional thing all the way and it basically means she’s checked out. But just because there’s a difference doesn’t mean it’s okay for anybody. If you don’t want to be together then don’t be together. If a man loves a woman he should learn to keep it in his pants and if a woman cheats she should stop being a gross slut.”
Michael, 32 years old from Staten Island said, “I can’t think of it in those terms really. To me cheating is cheating, bottom line. If you’ve made a decision to be with somebody, that’s like a contract and part of that contract is that you only have sex, kiss, hug, and touch each other. There should be no cheating of any kind. If you’re not ready for that commitment then be honest and keep it light, don’t be exclusive. I honestly see no difference, whether it’s a man or a woman. It’s betrayal, that’s black and white, there’s no grey area with betrayal. Play the field if you’re not ready, it’s better than hurting somebody.”
Liz, 30 years old from the East Village also offered up her opinion on the matter. “The only difference is the reaction to the cheating. A woman might be able to get past a guy cheating but a man, a real man, could never in a million years get over that. That’s the only difference in my opinion. In terms of being wrong, you’re not going to be less at fault because you’re a man, you don’t get a pass for that. People need to talk to each other before they do cheat; you should always know where your relationship stands.”
Article By: Jon DaBove
