It’s no secret that having trouble talking to, dating, and attracting women is a problem for a lot of guys. Lucky for them, Marni Kinrys, also known as The Wing Girl has a knack for knowing exactly what women want to hear and see and has decided to share it with the world. This hottie dating guru doesn’t rely on cheesy pick-up tactics but instead teaches men how to use common sense and confidence to land the women they want whether they are looking for a wife or a one night stand. MMD’s own Jon DaBove sat down with lovely Marni Kinrys to discuss the intricacies of the “Wing Girl Method”, why you should approach any woman you want, and why you should laugh in the face of rejection.
MMD: Marni, let’s take it back to the beginning. How did you become the “Wing Girl”?
Marni Kinrys: Well I became the wing girl because I was at a singles mixer and nobody was talking to each other. It was actually at a rabbi’s house. Nobody was talking so I started grabbing me and introducing them to women, making them talk to women. I told them what to do and what to say, and really just how to get women to be attracted to them. By the end of the night people were talking, interacting, making out. They were getting numbers and planning dates. I was on cloud nine and I was a little bit tipsy. I went home and I told my roommate who was a guy, “I want to do this for a living. I want to be a wing girl.” He said there was no way anybody would pay for that and that nobody would care what a woman thinks. I went on Craigslist and I put an ad up and I had over 75 responses by the next morning. This was like ten years ago. I don’t actually go out with the guy but I’m more of a virtual wing girl to hundreds of thousands of guys all over the world. I help a guy find a girlfriend, or sex, whatever it is they want from a woman. Guys want a great relationship and they want women to respond to them the way they should be responding to them.
MMD: I disagree with your friend. I would rather get advice from a woman. I feel like the guys who do this sort of thing are really douche baggy.
Marni Kinrys: At the very beginning it was like nobody cared what a woman thinks but now every cares what a woman thinks. They do want a female’s perspective. I was really one of the first women who was allowed into this world. I think the problem was they didn’t want stupid women talking. A lot of the women would just go in and they really didn’t know what they were talking about. What they said, they were saying because they wanted to be perceived a certain way. They would give answers based on the perception people would have of them. I give men real and honest answers. I used to have extreme anxiety around beautiful women. I could talk to men no problem but women were a real problem for me. And I wasn’t even trying to pick them up. I’m not a lesbian and I have a husband. Women always freaked me out. I thought they were judging me. I thought they hated me. I just could handle myself around them so I would become this strange version of myself when I was around them. At the age of 20 I actually gave myself a stroke because of all this anxiety I was having. After I recovered from the stroke I made a promise to myself that I would learn how to not be so self-conscious and anxious around beautiful women. And that’s what I teach men now that coupled with the information I’ve gotten from thousands of women. I’ve interviewed almost four thousand women on what they want and don’t want or what turns them on and what turns them off. All that information plus the fact that I’m a woman really become invaluable to men.
MMD: I like the fact that you focus on meeting people in person because so much of this stuff today is based on internet dating.
Marni Kinrys: I always feel it’s better in person. There are people who are really busy and that’s like their resource but even then meeting in person is good, not just making a pen pal. Online dating is good as one resource but if you’re talking to one person a week and doing a half assed job at it then that’s not going to get you anywhere.
MMD: I was always under the impression that if a woman gives you a look and that look says, “Don’t talk to me” that’s the end of it. You have no chance with her so leave it alone. Is there a way to talk to that woman?
Marni Kinrys: You should go up to her. You don’t know if that look is towards you, if she has something in her eye, or if she’s having a bad day. You can’t be a mind reader. The only person’s mind who you could read is your own and that’s what you should be paying attention to. If you think a girl is cute you need to get that into your own head and you need to go after what you want. Let her tell you verbally or physically that she doesn’t want you anywhere near her. The guy just has to go up to her. That’s what being a man is. That’s what masculine means. You also have to listen to a woman is she’s subtly saying she’s not interested so there’s a little bit of a dance there. The guy has to go up to her. If a guy doesn’t go up to a girl because he’s scared of getting rejected by her then he’s missing tons and tons of opportunities.
MMD: So getting rejected is inevitable right?
Marni Kinrys: I mean I wouldn’t say it’s inevitable but you can’t let it freak you out. If you do then you’re never going to go after anything. I always tell guys to laugh in the face of rejection. I tell them to give themselves an assignment where they go out and get rejected by ten women. You get comfortable with rejection and you’re at ease with it. You laugh at it. It doesn’t bruise you that badly. You have to take that chance. If you don’t take a chance at rejection it also means you never have a chance at getting anything either.
MMD: Should a guy’s intentions dictate how he’s going to approach a woman? Should he approach a woman he wants as a one night stand differently than a woman who he thinks could be his wife?
Marni Kinrys: If you’re approaching her for a one night stand you don’t want to talk about relationships. You want to listen to her and you want to start touching very quickly. You have to make your intentions clear and not lead her down a path where she thinks you could be her boyfriend. You need to invite into this world where she could have an exciting evening with you and not regret that decision. If you think you might want to get to know the girl you don’t take it to a sexual place as fast, you get to know here and see if that’s something you want. You take time to get to know her values. It’s really about not rushing. But it still has to be the same guy with confidence and who is sure of himself. He needs to figure out what his intentions are and then let his actions follow.
MMD: We’ve talked a lot about the approach but what about outside factors such as the man’s appearance?
Marni Kinrys: Looks don’t matter as much to women. It’s more about personality, confidence, and how you value yourself but obviously looks play a part. If you’re all scruffy and look like you haven’t bathed in five week or you’re a fat slob with food all over your shirt then that’s going to be a problem. Your personality can win her over after but this is how you advertise yourself. It shows if you can take care of yourself. If you take care of your emotions and your body then that’s going to work better for you. I’m not saying you have to be like a supermodel or anything but it’s a question of taking care of yourself. Do you take care of your finances, whether you have a lot of finances or a little? Do you take care of your career, whether it’s a career in disposing of garbage or in investment banking? Do you take care of your body and do you eat healthy or are you gorging on fast food every night? Are you still living in your mom’s basement? Those things are important to women but it changes at every age level. Things are different for a guy who’s 22 and a guy who’s 42. Do you have a solid career? At 22 that may not be a big problem but at 42 it is. Do you live with your parents? At 42 that is a problem.
MMD: Ok so answer me this, things are different now in terms of finances and the economy. Is there a definitive age cutoff for a situation in which someone might reside with a parent?
Marni Kinrys: I would say no but there’s a situation limit. It’s like okay we were in a recession and some people lost everything and had to move in with their family members. There might be a guy who’s really bitter about the recession and sits around and doesn’t do anything about it, doesn’t get off his ass and there’s a guy who’s really proactive and changes careers or goes back to school, whatever it may be. A guy might go get his MBA or he might be living with his parents so he can start an internet company and he needs the money and wants to be responsible.
MMD: As far as guy’s wealth go, is that actually about wealth or is it more about the glamour of it all? I know a lot of guys who don’t have very glamorous job but they have a lot of money.
Marni Kinrys: It depends on the woman you’re talking to. A job title isn’t the be all, end all. What really matters is your value and your potential. If you have a title it might boost you up but if you have a title and nothing else it’s not really going to get you anywhere. It’s kind of like comparing apples to apples because a guy with money is a guy with money. At that point it’s more about the value of the guys. One could have a great family, great group of friends and communicate like a champ and the other guy can be an asshole. A woman might stay away from a certain type of guy in a certain profession because of traits that may come along with the profession. For example, the investment banker type, that type of personality just never meshed with my personality.
MMD: Here’s something I’ve always wondered. Does the kind of car you drive matter to a woman?
Marni Kinrys: Does the car matter? It can, it can, and it totally depends. There are women who have the mentality that they are only going to date a guy with a certain job and a certain car but for most women it goes way beyond that and a car isn’t going to matter as much.
MMD: What’s your take on some of the pick-up artists who tell guys to put on a striped button down shirt, go up to eh hottest girl in the bar and call her a slut.
Marni Kinrys: I don’t like that. That’s typical pick-up artist stuff where they think you have to put the woman down. Any self-respecting woman isn’t going to go for that. She has very low self-esteem if she does. I’ll be honest; she may be interested initially because she’s wondering why you don’t like her. There are different psychological triggers you can use without putting her down. That’s not a real man.
MMD: I agree. Those guys are douches and it’s like it so forced.
Marni Kinrys: It is so forced. It’s crazy.
MMD: It’s like you’re presenting this false version of yourself.
Marni Kinrys: Exactly, I completely agree.
MMD: Should a guy go for a girl that’s out of his league so to speak?
Marni Kinrys: I don’t even believe in the whole league thing. You can change your league anytime you want. If you keep thinking of yourself as a two and putting people on pedestals you’re never going to get the women you want. There is no out of your league. If you have the confidence, and have great friends, on a great career path, then you shouldn’t think someone is out of your league. All you know about that girl is that she’s hot. She could be a shitty person. The league thing is hard to explain but men just care more about looks than women.
MMD: What if there is a guy who is a 3 or a 4 and his girlfriend is a 10, do you think that created a feeling of inequality within the relationship?
Marni Kinrys: It depends on the guy, that’s up to him. A guy looking at that might think it’s strange but a woman would think oh he must have a good job, he must have money, he must have something going for him.
MMD: So at the center of your teachings is really that a guy has to be confident.
Marni Kinrys: Yeah but it’s more about being competent. It’s about having the skill sets and tools that you need in order to work with women and attract women. It’s a key factor but it’s not the be all end all.
MMD: Can a guy be too confident?
Marni Kinrys: I wouldn’t say too confident but if he starts getting cocky and arrogant then yeah.
MMD: And I think I heard you say that there’s no magic pick-up line. You’re not a fan of the pick-up line right?
Marni Kinrys: No not at all but it’s more about the person than the line. If you say a line and somebody else says a line the woman is going to hear it differently. The delivery is going to be different. I could have ten guys in front of me all saying the same thing and it will sound different coming from all of them so it’s not what you say but how you say it.
MMD: Is there a go to way to approach a woman? Should a guy just say hi, how are you?
Marni Kinrys: I have method called OSA which stands for observation, share, and ask, ask a question so you can kind of cut out the formalities like hello, my name is. It allows you to tell a story or say something without asking her permission to talk to her. It’s like ok do you want to jump into my world or do you want to get off of this train? I like the direct approach. It’s really not what you say but how you express it and how you say it that matters the most to women.
MMD: You see a lot of girls hanging out with guys that are assholes by anybody’s standards. What do you attribute that to?
Marni Kinrys: That she didn’t know he was an asshole when she started interacting with him. A lot of assholes have amazing qualities. It’s not that she’s attracted to him being an asshole, she’s just attracted to those amazing qualities. I try to teach guys to have the characteristics of being an asshole without actually being an asshole.
MMD: This has been very informative Marni. Tell us where we can find your books and find you on the internet, whatever you want.
Marni Kinrys: I have a book called Get Inside Her: Dirty Dating Tips & Secrets From A Woman On How To Attract, Seduce And Get Any Female You Want on Amazon and that’s a really good start, it lays a good foundation. And then of course they can go to my website which is www.winggirlmethod.com.
Article By: Jon DaBove
