Ahhh, the bedroom. As much as we love rolling around in the sheets with our guy, there are definitely some things we could do without when the door closes and the lights turn down low. Luckily for your sake, we do them anyway.
Some things belong in mouths, some things don’t. Unfortunately for women, men think their junk happens to be one of those things. There’s nothing wrong with giving a BJ every once in a while, but if you think we love it as much as sucking on our favorite lollipop, you’re sadly mistaken.
2. Fake orgasms.
Women were definitely given the short end of the stick when it comes to getting off. It doesn’t take much for men to summon Niagara Falls, but women on the other hand aren’t as easy to please. Sure, maybe 90% of our orgasms could be fake, but we’re so good at making sure you’re satisfied that you’ll never really know.
Just like mouths, another hole nothing ever really belongs in is our ass. Don’t let pornos fool you—those ladies are freaks. If a woman in the real world lets you do naughty things to her buttocks region, she must really like you because nothing is fun about that the next day.
Lingerie is a good time. Nothing beats buying something tiny, see-through and lacy. But as much fun as frolicking around in barely any clothing is, it takes a lot of prep time and possibly a couple tequila shots before we’re really ready to dance around while you sit there and watch. You’re welcome for the free show, by the way.
5. Talking dirty.
Taking dirty is hard work. Sometimes something extra raunchy slips out automatically in the heat of the moment, but for the most part, we know how much you love it when we talk about how big your dick is and how bad we want it, so we make sure it’s loud and clear for you. And if we’re really into you, your roommate will hear it, too.
Blow jobs are one thing, but where your semen ends up is a completely different story. No woman will ever understand why guys love blowing their load everywhere but in an actual condom. Even though we would much rather spit, we swallow. And when you want to fire your gun onto our chest, stomach, belly button—whatever—we let you. It might be fun at the time, but while you’re laying there afterward in pure bliss, we’re laying there wondering what we should do about the pile of white stuff just chilling in the most uncomfortable places.
Some women may love being tied up, whipped and handcuffed, but even though we secretly read 50 Shades of Grey doesn’t mean we want to experience it. If your lady lets you get all kinky in the bedroom, get excited because she not only really trusts you, but she’s a hard one to come by. Cute little blindfolds are fun, but if we see you installing a sex swing, we’re out.
8. Peep show.
We know, we know—guys love watching their ladies get off. Whether that’s pleasuring ourselves or just being on top during sex, it’s pretty obvious that it’s a huge turn-on for any male to see the person they’re with fully enjoying themselves. It’s not like we hate it, but we want the lights off for a reason.
Article By: Taryn Vurnan