Drake Taught His Mom How to Cook

MMD May 12, 2015 0

A video posted by champagnepapi (@champagnepapi) on

My mom was a crack head so its touching to see Aubrey “Drake” Graham showing his mom how to cook it or at least reference it on instagram because he is so hip hop and gangsta. I doubt Aubrey has ever touched crack because lets face it, he’s pretty much white and is Jewish. The closest he’s come to crack is cocaine because Aubrey’s expensive, rich and a princess. Crack is for poor, proper black people or the ex-Mayor of Toronto who is also white and goes against everything I just wrote but shhh! But I’ve also never been to Toronto…I mean, the 6ix (eye roll Aubrey eye roll) so who really knows how they run things up in Canada.

Anyway, this video got me a little teary eyed because it brought back so many memories of my own mom, cooking crack in the kitchen with my drug dealer West Indian Daddy who was later thrown in prison for aggravated assault. Man, all around good childhood memories. She’s dead now. Ironically the crack didn’t catch up to her but the chain smoking and shitty diet of KFC and Mcdonalds did. I mean, I’m sure the crack didn’t help but crack doesn’t give you heart disease or clog your arteries 97% percent resulting in a heart attack. In fact she was even 6 months sober when she died. Life’s funny like that. So today, on this day after Mother’s day, I salute all the other shitty moms and Drake, who is so desperate to be hard with his white Jew mom…

Here’s Drake Playing Ping Pong…

A video posted by champagnepapi (@champagnepapi) on

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